At a standstill.

This weekend was...I don't know if I have just one word to sum it up. Tia's party was fabulous. We had the best time. The weather held off and we partied it up as we should have. Here is a pic of us at the hotel happy hour with the groom of a bachelor party that was going on also. We ended up partying with these guys until 4 in the morning. More on that later.

I had Jeff come over Friday night, and I know he's not for me. He is a great guy, but I feel no connection. Pretty sure he does though, and now I feel bad. How do you tell such a wonderful guy that you are just not interested and he just put his good friendship with my ex in jeopardy for nothing? aaahh.

Adam is pissed.

I knew he would be, but I didn't really think I would hurt him this bad. He called me on Sunday night, but I was exhausted and he wanted to come over, so I knew that would be a bad idea. He wanted to talk, and I think I should have done it then and not waited. I tried to talk to him last night, but then of course he was "over it" and doesn't want to talk about it now. So now he'll go into his little shell and shut me out. I hate it. I miss him and I should have never started seeing Jeff. I think I really messed it up this time.

So at our little after party this weekend, I met this guy. Actually, I noticed him right way when we met them at Happy Hour. Do you ever just have a feeling when you see someone, that they are special, and you will have a connection? We made eye contact, and I knew. Then he came over to talk and took a drink and I saw he was MARRIED. Damn. So I put him out of my mind for the rest of the night.

Later, we started talking and it was like we were old friends catching up and giving advice. Turns out he is still married, but he and his wife haven't even kissed for 4 months and he is waiting for her to file so he isn't the ass. (Better than happily married, but still, he is MARRIED.) So then we started talking about me, and honestly, getting advice and insight into your life from a stranger can sometimes be the best advice.

I told him all about Adam, and about how I started seeing his friend. He basically told me what I already know. Seeing Jeff is a BAD idea. And how I am one of those good girls, that you don't want to lose, but you don't want to have until you are ready. Adam just turned 25, has always been the big fun loving party guy, and is just starting to realize this. Which is why he keeps pushing me away every time we get closer. If I love him and really want him, I need to make sure he knows that and stop being sneaky about it.

It was a great conversation and I really am thankful to have had it. and if married guy hadn't had a ring on, he would have been mine! I didn't even give him my number, because really, he's married. Bad idea. I did get just a little goodbye kiss, (harmless). But I'll never forget him!

But now, I feel horrible and depressed and am really not sure where to go from here. Looks like I'll be attending Tia's wedding dateless. Hopefully Adam comes around and forgives me. At least it didn't get too far out of hand.

and now I'm going to go eat some Girl Scout cookies for breakfast.

Here's some eye candy for you - the cutest bartender in Omaha!