I attract drama (long post about boys)

Okay, here's an update on the boy situation.

I don't think Adam knows about Jon, but I don't really know. He has had his 14 year old brother staying with him all this week while his parents were at a cattle conference in Arizona.  So we haven't talked too much, mostly texts here and there.  I always go to lunch on Wednesdays with a few other girls, and we were in Subway, and he was in there too.  

I don't know if it was awkward because I was uncomfortable or because he was.  But it wasn't normal.  If his friend hadn't come over to our table first, I'm really not sure he would of come over at all, and he stood a good distance from me, and didn't say much, or give me eye contact.  Which made me think he knew.  

So I texted him that night saying I needed to see him, but he responded he can't because of his brother.  Thursday we texted pretty much all night. (I have a love/hate relationship with texting.  I used to refuse to do it, but now I can't live without it, even if it keeps me up all night.)

FRIDAY.  He texts at around 6, wants to know what I am doing.  I have no plans, and  honestly just want to stay home and go to sleep early.  I haven't really slept much this week.  So he calls 10 minutes later, and says he is taking his brother to a movie but wants to stop by on his way back home.  I am good with this, even though I know it will be a quick stop with his brother here, and I'll have to stay up.  So I am thinking it'll be around 11:30 when they get here.  I watched a movie, and  it got over around 12.  No Adam.  No phone call.  So now I am mad.

I text him quick, saying thanks for stopping by, and go to bed.  10 minutes later, I get a text.  I don't even check who it is from, just assume it's Adam.  It says What are you doing?  I write back, sleeping.  (I almost wrote, waiting for you).  Then  I get to thinking, it's weird that he sent a text that says that, and also that it used punctuation, because he never does.  So I check who it's from.  It's not Adams number.  But it's a local number, so it must be Jon.  I have given him mine, but I don't have his.  Great.  He writes back, want company?  So now I am thinking he thinks I'm a booty call, and tell him again I am sleeping.  10 minutes go by and he writes back, is that a hint?

So he thinks I'm giving him the cold shoulder.  I figure he's probably right up the street, at the bar, which means he could be at my house in like, 2 minutes.  I still don't know what happened with Adam and for all I know, he could be here in 2 minutes too.  Panic Mode.  

I try to do some damage control with Jon, and write back that no, I am just tired, and if he wants to talk to call me earlier, but I need to sleep.  He responded, so I hope I fixed that and he doesn't think I'm blowing him off.  But now there is no way I can sleep.  I think I finally fell asleep around 4:30.  

Adam texts the next day, sorry, we ended up going to cabin with his other brother.  Fine, but let me know next time, you know?  He doesn't seem to understand how inconsiderate he is sometimes.  

I half expected the whole thing to play out again last night, but I didn't even get ONE text, phone call, nothing!  Go figure.  

I think Adam is finally coming here tonight, so I can finally have a conversation with him.  (That is unless he has drank too much during the Super Bowl.)  The thing is, even as much as I hate him sometimes, I love him more.  I am not the type of girl who has ever gotten overly attached or emotional about boys, hard breakups, anything.  I have always cut it dry, and moved on.  With him, when we first broke up, I was sad, but something told me we needed to have a break and we weren't done yet.  Then when he all the sudden had a live in pregnant girlfriend, THAT is when I hurt the most.  Because I knew I messed up and should have fought to keep him instead of just letting him go.  

So now that we are here, whatever we are, I just can't cut it dry.  Something keeps me drawn to him.  I am not saying that I am not going to give Jon a chance, I don't know yet.  But I need Adam to know that this might happen, before it does.  And maybe Jon will learn to call me at a decent hour so I can get to know him better, and figure out what I really want.